Prioritise

I feel like a have a lot to write about in this space, and would love to try out a few little ideas...but here's that same old tired excuse coming...no time.

At night I am trying to keep up with sew school, or reading a book. Now that I can read in bed at night I find I'm more likely to do so, much cosier or something? We've moved the Little One to the cot for the first sleep of the night (more on that later), so it's a bit of a novelty to have the bedside light on. And on Monday nights K and I watch this on TV. It has me itching to read the papers. But I find myself making crepes, or spying on Sassy and her Papa at play on a weekend morning instead.

During the day, Sassy is having two short naps so I just get enough time for a cuppa, a quick blog trawl or some emails, and maybe a spot of gardening if I'm lucky.

So there's time. I just find that I'm prioritising other things at the moment. And that's fine. A tricky (but ultimately rewarding) side of mamahood.

*A little lined zipper purse I made from a beautiful embroidered doily from the oppie. Broke my heart to chop it up. But it is enjoying a new life as my sewing bits and pieces bag.

an elaborate dance

This was the title of talk Saskia, Jan-Ma & I went to see last Friday at the National Portrait Gallery given by an amazing lady, Sally Chance, on the cultural lives of babies.

Chance is a dance artist who has been looking at how little ones (up to 18 months) create culture and identity using dance. Her two year fellowship with the Australia Council resulted in a production, This [Baby] Life, which I think would be an amazing experience. For both mamas/carers and babies. Especially babies.

The audience: a small number of carers sit on the floor with their babies. Opening scene: a musician makes gentle, playful sounds using a variety of instruments and two dancers begin choreographed movement. As the babies become more confident and comfortable in their surroundings, they may gradually start to venture out to explore the dancers and their surroundings. From here the show is in the hands of the babies as the dancers, respectfully, 'match' their movements and expressions, and each baby 'experiences being experienced', being delighted in.

This [Baby] Life featured in the Adelaide Come Out Festival, and from what I gather, will travel this year. Has anyone seen this? If so, I'd love to hear more about it.

It was a lovely, gentle reminder that toys and gadgets are fun, but what they really want is you. To delight in them.

The mother-infant interaction...seemed to be an elaborate dance, choreographed by nature.

Daniel Stern

Ps. I borrowed this book from the library and ordered this one. Let me know if you've read either.

remembering to remember

I had my haircut the other day and got a head massage. The best part about a haircut, right? Bliss. But my hairdresser did this amazing thing before the massage which was so simply wonderful. It was a fancy place so I think it was their 'thing'. (Or maybe I've just been out of the salon game for too long and they do this stuff everywhere? whatever though, it totally worked for me). She dipped her fingers in Aveda Blue Oil, leant down onto my shoudlers and told me to take three long deep breaths...Three deep breaths, then a quiet easy calm.

It made me realise that I've been a bit scattered lately. Too much on my mind, too many projects I want to start, too much thinking about fun dates to fill the remaining days of K's leave.

I recently read this book and have earmarked many pages. I'm reading it again for a second time. Developing mindfulness is a challenge, but I've found I'm a better mother to Saskia when I remember to remember, when I pay attention, and stay in the present moment.

*first tomato from the garden this year

Sleep

So the truth is Little One sleeps with us and I love it.

She started out sleeping in her bassinet but it soon became apparent (around 7 weeks) that she was much happier being closer to her Mama, firmly tucked into a nurturing nook. Sleepless nights and hours of rocking back to sleep turned into dreamy wakings and easy feedings. Being able to meet her needs immediately, as well as the warmth and comfort of a shared bed, has meant that the Little One sleeps so soundly. It makes me happy to know that she's secure and content.

Although I'm still feeding her a few times a night, I feel like I am able to have more sleep: I don't leave the bed as she begins snoozing as soon as she's finished. Sometimes I'm awake to hear those sweet slumber sighs or to smell that delicious milk breath. But mostly I'm not.

In the morning, just after the light begins to seep in past the curtains, I feel little kicks at my belly. Just want you to know I'm starting to wake up, Mama. If I'm lucky though, I might wake up to little hands exploring my face and wide gummy smiles. And so the day begins.

*A lovely neighbour had lent me this book which was helpful. As I knew I might meet a bit of reluctance about our sleeping arrangements the book gave me confidence in that I had made an informed decision. In particular, there is some great information about the benefits of co-sleeping such as greater breastmilk supply, increased sensitivity to mother's/baby's communication, lower stress levels and temperature regulation. Co-sleeping is not for every Mama and baby, but it is working for us at this moment.

*Photo taken at 9 weeks

A little delivery

Propped next to my avocado toast this morning I found a gift and a card from the little one. Wishing me (an early) happy mothers day. I barely made it through the first sentence before I started with the tears. I think it's my most favourite card yet. Thank you little one. x

My gift was the latest Dumbo Feather - am sure you've all read/heard of it? Such a thoughtful publication. It's the first issue with new publishers and format so I hope they've managed to retain the spirit and original philosophy.

Oh and look, a shot of me in my 40 year old dressing gown.

Books I'm reading...

Today was a busy day. Garage sale-ing in the morning, a first birthday at lunch and a pupusa (my all-time favourite food) at Gorman House markets with an old friend this afternoon.

Was a pretty perfect day although I came home absolutely knackered. Couldn't move from my spot on the bed. I didn't fight the urge to lie in the afternoon sun and do a bit of reading.

Have been dipping into parts of Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and am totally entranced by the birth stories. I'm trying to slow down my reading as I don't want it to finish. It is one of those books I noticed lots of blogging mamas reading (and had been recommended by many, including the lovely Jodi) and I can see why. It's refreshing and reassuring to read about a variety of birth stories, and reminds me that I should be open to whatever experience will be my own.

I can also highly recommend the book Birth by Catherine Price and Sandra Robinson. A thoughtful friend gave me a copy when I first mentioned we were trying for a baby. It's full of helpful information, not biased towards any particular way of giving birth, and written in a friendly tone by two Australian women. It's a goodie as I found What to Expect seemed too American (even the Australian version).

Lastly, another good friend lent me her Up the Duff book which I've just been flicking through. Even though a lot of the information seems repetitive now that I've read Birth, I love that she's annotated the text with her own experiences. I'm a bit of a sticky beak like that. But what a lovely idea, no?

Aim for May: read a non-pregnancy book. Have Never Let Me Go still waiting so maybe it's time...