20 weeks! Does that mean I'm half way? Wowsers. It really is going so quickly. I remember thinking it took forever to make it to the 12 week mark, and now I'm trying to enjoy every minute and make the most of this special time.
I went to see the doctor on Monday to hear the little one's heartbeat. I had worked myself into a bit of a state over the weekend after hearing a sad baby story and was just so deliriously happy to hear the galloping rhythm on the doppler. I felt a right twit bursting into tears in the doctor's office but she was so patient and understanding. She told me not to feel silly, many women have similar concerns. Is this true? It's yet another thing I wasn't prepared for. How vulnerable you feel; how fragile this little life inside you is; how precious this experience is.
In an effort to cheer me up Sunday night, K had lay in bed with me talking to me and stroking my belly. I felt a few twitches, almost like mini muscle spasms or padding, and we both watched the little kicks move across my skin. I couldn't let myself believe this was our little one's first kicks until I'd heard the heartbeat at the doctor's the next day. We've spent every night since camping out in bed, watching for the movements. So magical.
Ah gosh, another tear brought to my eye. Here we are, perfect strangers really, and yet I could cry at the mere thought of you crying at the doctors and watching those magical movements ripple across your stomach. I certainly felt vulnerable, fragile and all the rest when I was pregnant. The sheer tenuousness of it all is what makes it so vivid and amazing in a way. Scarily miraculous, if you will. xx
ReplyDeleteI cried after our ultrasound. So relieved about all of her tiny parts present and accounted for. I have never felt so powerful and vulnerable in my life.
ReplyDeleteNothing like it, huh. So sweet x
ReplyDeleteSo happy to have found your lovely blog! I just became a mother in January and I now find myself getting so excited for pregnant women - there is so much love around the corner. Such a magical, profound journey awaits!
ReplyDeletex claire
It's so nice to read your posts as I'm only just over a week behind you, was only thinking the other day how close I am to the halfway mark. I have a scan and obstetrician appointment next week which I'm hanging out for. I've been feeling movements over the last week or so too, I lay in bed last night for a while feeling little kicks :) I remember when I was pregnant with Grace, my husband and I would spend time at night watching my belly and all the kicking, such a precious moment.
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